A Selfish Fool I Am

She was perfect in 99 ways.

A beautiful shining star.
Discovered in a desert haze.
That’s where she took my heart.
Brave enough to move across
the country to my side.
Devoted enough to risk her life
And leave her friends behind.
Best friends we are.
Or best friends we were?
I let her go.
Now life’s a blur.
A selfish fool. Am I? No.
Why can’t my ego die. Go.
Away and so I can not be I but we
Together as one.
It took a decade to find that love.
Will it take a decade to find the next?
It seems that way. It really does.
For now my heart’s locked in my chest.
But my heart pounds with passion too.
For life, for dreams, for friends like you.
Being young was my excuse
I must explore and see what’s new.
Was I IN love?
That’s what I wonder.
You saw the lightning,
But did you hear our thunder?
A booming love is what I need,
A love that makes my ego gone.
A love that sweeps me off my feet
And makes me want to call my mom.
But am I ready for such thing?
Or am I stuck with constant change.
I must admit my ADD
Is hard to control in my brain.
A selfish fool. Am I?
Or am I just a “guy.”
Do I wish to be a slut?
Incapable of staying put?
Or am I a brave explorer
Who’s independence steers my foot.
One thing I know is what I want.
I wish I had a clone.
Because she was my greatest love
And now I am alone.
It breaks my heart to break hers too,
But had I stayed it would be wrong.
For she was not my bride to be
So what’s the point of holding on.
A selfish fool. Am I?
I cannot live a lie.
I’m 28 for goodness sakes.
I don’t need to settle yet.
Relationships? Another day.
For now I’m just me, celibate.
So maybe I am a selfish guy
Who has to much ambition
And I do want a family? Yes.
But now my career is my mission.
The best I hope for all of us,
Is not to lie to ourselves.
For in your TRUTH your Id can thrive,
And feed your ego with what’s well.
A selfish fool am I?
These are real tears in my eyes.
I will always love her so
But now its time to let go.
Perhaps a selfish fool I am.
But they again. Life has no plan.
A SELF-LESS fool I aim to be.
To live a life of charity.
With fun, and friends and dreams to see.
This is a testate of my sincerity.
A Selfless Fool

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